Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
