so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
