At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
