Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
