we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
