3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
