at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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