I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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