Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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