How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
