Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
