remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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