I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
