My nipple is on Facebook.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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