I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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