Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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