i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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