What did we do last night that was yellow?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
