i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
