This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
