Do you still have your period?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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