I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
