that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
