it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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