So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
