piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
