It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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