i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
