Got a toothbrush?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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