Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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