why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
