Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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