meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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