I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I am naked and annoyed.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize