I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
