So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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