yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
