Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize