Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
