part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
