By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
