hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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