I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
