My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
