one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he shaved USA in his pubs
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
