so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
