i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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