Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
