grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
