Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
