too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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