You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
