i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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