He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
