I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
