I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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