i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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