i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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