why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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